by Jul 11, 20160 comments

CAESAR MATHEBULA from Lifeworks Forum explains and gives advice on Lobola

“Lobola is a very touchy subject in many black communities, cultures and tradition. It is a subject that has caused so much pain and divide in many black families and is getting worse each year. The process and the administration thereof is gradually drifting further and further away from its original purpose and what it was intended to achieve by people of old. Many have noticed this drift but no one is pulling the hand break especially when you begin to look at the casualty rate it has in the history of marriage.

Society has shaped women to seek and find validation, identity, significance and self-worth in the bride’s money paid by the groom’s spokes men during Lobola negotiations. This seems to back-fire later when the couple start living together because most men automatically conclude and begin to treat their wives like a product that must deliver the benefits promised, hence most males have a list of expectations their wives must fulfill and, failure to that, cause a lot of stain on the relationship.

Lobola advice

Basically, traditions and culture has transformed Dowry into Lobola which has turned into a business transaction, hence why most parents today look at their daughters as investments returns. Without Lobola, most women feel a very strong sense of inferiority, especially if the bride money is below R5000, forgetting you can marry to a personality but end up living with a character for the rest of your life. Because of lack of right perspective and administration of Lobola, many women are abused and neglected daily in their houses.”

Lobola advice

Lifeworks Forum is a NPO with a simple vision and focus to empower our communities in the area of Relationships, Marriage, Family, Health and Wealth. It was established in 2013 with a specific purpose to bring sustainable transformation in Relationships, Marriages, Families, Health and Wealth, through the provision of information, resources, support and networks that married couples can use to build strong marriages that will sustain healthy families who inturn will impact our communities, our society, our nation and the world at large by helping one married couple at a time.

If you have any questions you can email Caesar on [email protected]

Lobola advice
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